Monthly Archive for December, 2006

The Melancholy of Merkaba

Published on 19 December 2006 in General nonsense. 0 Comments

Its been a week now since my dismissal from my job. A week in which I’ve had plenty of opportunity to think and talk about everything that happened to me while I worked there. The initial shock and depression that are usually part of such a drastic employment termination have run their course and I now feel ready for whatever may come. I shall bravely step into the random.

A word of thanks

Published on 12 December 2006 in General nonsense. 0 Comments

But I’m more than just curious
How you’re planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead
- The Noose by A Perfect Circle

You might be wondering about the recent slew of song lyrics I’ve been posting. Recently I’ve been given the bum’s rush, the ol’ heave ho from my job at Confiance. In light of this I’ve come to realise the pertinence of some of these songs to my current predicament. Maybe I’ve always been a bit naive when it comes to believing that people are inherently good inside, but this recent saga has served to change my mind. The world is a cold and cruel place, so impersonal and with no semblance of compassion. We struggle on a daily basis to try and come to terms with our existence and purpose. The vast majority of us are merely content to wonder aimlessly through our mediocre lives with nary a glance towards those around us. We chase the almighty dollar as though its the answer to all our problems. It is so funny that we are in truth immortal beings of spirit that will transcend to a higher level upon leaving this mortal coil.

Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any
Sense of compassion
- Schism by Tool

forty-six & 2

Published on 12 December 2006 in Music. 0 Comments

My shadow’s
shedding skin and
I’ve been picking
Scabs again.
I’m down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.

I’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been.
I’ve been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I’ve been hiding in

My shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow’s shedding skin
I’ve been picking
My scabs again.

I’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been.
I’ve been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I’ve endured within

My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I’ve been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armour.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

– forty-six & 2 by Tool

Bottom

Published on 12 December 2006 in Music. 0 Comments

My compassion is broken now. My will is eroded,
and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.

I’m on my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire.
So smell my soul burning.
I’m broken, looking up to see the enemy.
I have swallowed the poison you feed me …
but I survive on it,

and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed..
and I feel ugly, and dead inside.

Shit adds up at the bottom.

You’ve left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild

what’s broken.
Too much, too far, too late to lie down now.
I must arm myself to fight you
by making weapons out of my imperfections.
It’s all I have left.
There’s no other choice.

I’m shameless, nameless, nothing, and no one now.

But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked.
I’m naked and fearless.
But I’m dead inside.
You see.. shit adds up, now I’m dead inside.
Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive
at the bottom.

- Bottom by Tool

Tool Ascend Again!

Published on 9 December 2006 in Music. 0 Comments

As a rabid Tool fan I had to bring to your attention the fact that once again Tool are in the running for two Grammys in Best Hard Rock Performance for Vicarious and Best Packaging for 10000 Days. Check the Grammy site for the full list of nominees. With the Best Metal Performance for Schism from Lateralus it is looking good. Let’s hope they have as good a speech as last time!