I thought that today the most important member of our little office deserved a shout out.
Muppet Mobil (seen above as Sake Mobil) has consistently been the binding force working behind the scenes at my work to ensure that we can complete our daily duties to the utmost of our abilities, ensuring that proficiency is always kept high. As also seen above he has always extended his friendship to those around him and offered a helping hand when needed and without any complaints.
Today though he was most perturbed by goings on in the office. Our server had decided it was time to take early retirement and he had to visit clients and complete a load more of work. He surely felt like a puppet having its strings pulled.
Thankfully any crisis was avoided due to the due diligence of his magnificent Sup who once again swooped in to save the day with some witty retorts!
Here’s my salute to you Muppet Mobile!
One constant in our office has been the excellent and above all wonderful help that we in the AFS department have received then greatest of help from our fellow workers in the BM department.
For those of you who are unaware of the hierarchy in an accounting firm the following definition might prove useful:
BM: The process of getting a lot of papers together many of which contain archaic rituals and esoteric information and adding some more. Thereafter these papers are stored in secure receptacles for future reference.
The picture to the above right is of the esteemed leader of the BM department, David (in Tswana, Botswana’s official language) has become most adept at keeping the above mentioned paperwork a tightly guarded secret from the uninitiated.
The only chink in the BM department’s armour is the kindness of Muppet Mobil. As stated in a previous post Muppet Mobiles innate kindness means that he is forsworn to provide the rest of us with the information that we need.
Hope that David and your Sup do not revoke your BM rank and privileges Muppet Mobil!
The strangest of things happened the other day. I walked up to my usual desk and set my bags down on the table and was preparing to enter the hard graft of another day as a Super Accountant when all of a sudden I noticed something strange out of the corner of my eye. What at an initial glance appeared to be a normal everyday work desk in actual fact contained something evil.
Like a Lovecraftian horror of old, some horrendous and terrifying beast had emerged from the depths to ensnarl my peaceful abode. It had managed to engulf my workspace and struck fear in all those who saw it.
I still cannot believe my own eyes but fortunately I managed to fumble out my cellphone and snap a quick shot whereupon I had to vacate the office in need of a fresh pair of underwear having just escaped with my life. Here is proof of the evils that lurk in the minds of men, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
What must be breakthrough in the field of Economics and Accounting has just occurred. While working today I was struck by a startling idea:
Nie0 is the most important export from the country of Botswana!!
What so perplexed me was that this should occur at an average exchange rate of 2.83
Pula = 36.72
Nie0
lisms. For those of you who have still to discover the joys of
Nie0
lisms let me explain. A
Nie0
lism is a remark of such astounding insight and remarkable thought that you are struck blind by its shear audacity and brilliance. As an example:
Should you say:
I can’t understand it.
A
Nie0
lism would be:
You’re an understand it can’t.
Now I could spend the rest of this post trying to explain the intricacies of the above
example to you but I think it would be more beneficial for you to discover the mysteries of it for yourself. I’ll merely leave you with this philosophical
quandary as posed by the one and only
Nie0:
Why wash your car when the dirt and pawprints
of cats form such a delightful patina?
For all of us accounting pirates out there:
Sailing Away, Sailing Away.
It’s fun to charter an accountant
And sail the wild accountancy
To find, explore, the funds offshore
and scourge the sholls of bankruptcy.
It can be manly in insurance,
we’ll up your premium semi-annually.
It’s all tax deductable,
we’re fairly incorruptable.
We’re sailing on the wide accountancy.
Sailing Away, Sailing Away.
– Monty Python
[Accounting Shanty Lyrics from The Meaning of Life]
When the phrase “dynamite comes in small packages” was coined it must have been after an encounter with one of my coworkers. I won’t mention any names for fear of retribution but I will make it known that she is a veritable bundle of energy in our office and has the power to make many of us tremble with fear.
Though this might make her sound terrible, she isn’t, but much like Batgirl she is a champion for truth, justice and the Free State way. She can battle her way through mounds of red tape and unhelpful civil servants to uncover the kernel of truth hidden beneath. That’s why when we sense trouble approaching we turn on the Vrystaat signal to call upon her help.
When even her powers have met their match then she teams up with compadre Merda to form the unstoppable Finance Friends of Consida (TM) to battle evil, injustice and tax legislation wherever it may rear its ugly head.
The most amazing thing is that she has what must be the most adorable dog ever created. Tiger the puppy has the ability that all small dogs have to rend onlookers unable to resist his charms thereby garnering him treats and petting all around. Someday this nemesis to the common man will be stopped but only by a man of greater strength than I. Onwards Muppet Mobil!! Your nemesis awaits!
(Apologies to MK! Feel free to klap me.)
Like a more feminine version of Bhudda (take it as a complement!) Merda has been a source of wisdom and knowledge far surpassing her years. At the slightest sign of trouble she can spout the answers to any question imaginable under the sun. So far it has been proven impossible to stump her on any front. Whatever you ask will be answered much like a magic 8 ball.
To gain this wisdom has proven troublesome. She has to resort to specialised foods, including the brainwave packed food known as the Boerewors roll.
Much like a modern version of Russell Crowe in the gladiator she has stepped into the Maximus Circus and defeated that foe of foes, SARS (the organisation, not the disease!).
What person can stand in front of her might? Mere mortals have trembled at less and have not survived. The only know protection is to drive a Mini which has been proven to be almost invisible to her acute eyesight.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
Amazingly enough in this world of instant gratification there are some of us humans on this earth still persist in trying to be healthy.
Muppet Mobil is a case in point and has taken up the gauntlet of healthy eating. While some may say the Mrs Muppet has forced him into this course of action I believe that it is instead his burning desire to go all out for the BM department and impress his Sup!
The rest of us can only look on in awe at how he has forged ahead in his work even though sometimes it may seem that it was a car wreck in waiting. It is worth noting that he is an actual Guitar Hero in the office even though he may sometimes use the threat of violence against his fellow employees! 
In the immortal words of Muppet Mobil – “Whatever!”
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